Every relationship grows in its own time. Each stage along the road is a milestone that two of you cross hand in hand, passing over the threshold only when you know you are ready. Some couples skip over the stages fast, while some linger over each one, going slow and steady. Neither approach is wrong because each individual is different and understanding each other is a unique journey for every couple. You are always in perfect time when it comes to your growth.
However, there may come a stage where you find yourself wondering what comes next. Maybe you have been together for a few years, having made your own comfortable space around each other. Things seem perfect, but you may want something more. While marriage is not always preferred by everybody, because you do not need a legal document to solidify your bond. But it could be something you want and there is nothing wrong with it. Wanting to celebrate your love with your special ones and make another precious memory to look back on is perfectly valid.
Even if you love your partner, it is normal to think about whether a marriage would for the two of you, because ultimately, a commitment needs both feelings and work. You may wonder what are the things you should watch for, which signs mean you should end things and which signs mean you should take it forward. How to know if he’s the one to marry?
It is a difficult decision and needs a lot of thought, but we are making this dilemma a little easier for you! Here are some things you should think about while looking for the signs that you should marry him.
How to Know If He’s The One To Marry?
The first thing you should acknowledge is the fact that you are genuinely thinking about this question. That in itself says so much about how serious you are about your partner. It is important to keep in mind that there is no perfect, guaranteed list of signs that you should marry him. Every relationship is different and has its language of love.
What may be a sign for one couple just may not be you and your partner’s thing and that is completely okay. The whole point is to carefully think about where each point leads you to and accept only what resonates with you. Do not try to mold yourself into someone else. Your relationship is special because the two of you are the way you are.
That being said, here are some possible signs that you are dating the man you should marry:
You have healthy communication
No matter how long you have been together, constant communication is the only way to grow together and understand each other at every step. Healthy communication in a relationship does not mean constantly talking to each other. Rather, it means sitting down and communicating your wants and needs to each other. It means making sure that you are on the same page as you go forward.
If you and your partner aim to resolve misunderstandings by having a calm discussion, always making sure that a solution that is comfortable for both parties is reached, then this could be one of the most important signs that you’re going to marry your boyfriend. After all, having been together for a long time and still trying to see each other’s side better, while maintaining your own identity, is the key to any healthy relationship.
You trust each other and have healthy boundaries
No matter how close you are to each other, it is important to recognize the autonomy of the other person as an individual. Trust is necessary for every relationship and with trust come boundaries. Contrary to popular belief, boundaries help you get closer because when you have boundaries and you respect them, it builds trust. This means that you are clear about which things make you comfortable and which don’t. Even if you live together, you each have your space as well as privacy, No one checks the others phone or goes through personal belongings that you want to keep for yourself.
Any hint of a lack of trust and respect is one of the clearest signs that you should not marry him.
You love spending time with each other
Even though you both may have your things to do, you still enjoy spending time with each other. Though schedules may get busy, you make room for the occasional movie nights, so you can cuddle on the couch and make up for all the distance.
Sure, you may not have time for the big, romantic declarations of love, the way you did in the early days of your relation, but you still make sure to slip in every little small gesture as a reminder, because you know it counts. If your partner still shows you that he loves through your special, secret actions, it could mean that you are dating the man you should marry.
You both have your individuality
You should always retain your identity in a relationship. If you find that you are losing a sense of yourself while in a relationship, this could be a sign that things are wrong somewhere. When you think about marriage, even if it is a union of two souls, it still means that each person is a separate individual.
Extreme co-dependency can lead to a toxic relationship because you are simply unable to function without each other. Such a relationship is one of the sure signs that you should not marry him, at least until you both learn to function individually.
If you and your partner still have your own separate sets of hobbies and personality, while also coming together as a team to walk this road together, this is one of the signs that you should marry him.
You often talk about your future together
If your partner initiates conversations about your future together, they are probably thinking about it a lot. If you discuss your dream house and dream future, while still imagining your relationship going strong, this is one of the good signs that you’re going to marry your boyfriend.
You may have already made some long-term plans together, such as a vacation or an apartment, and may even be slowly investing in it. This shows that you are ready to put in the effort and patience, no matter how long it takes. This could indicate that you are dating the man you should marry.
You still have that intimacy
Keep in mind that intimacy can mean different things for different people. It is a combination of safety, comfort, and attraction, which can be expressed both emotionally and physically. This does not always mean sex, because not everyone is comfortable with having sex.
What this point means is that even as you grow into a routine together, you still have that intimacy. Sure, you may not have the burning embers that once lit up between you two or the shy fluttering in your stomach, but even now when you look at your partner, they put you under a spell. When you sit close together in your space, your body still feels with all that emotion inside.
You still feel safe in their arms and do not feel bored or tired. Having that constant spark between the two of you, no matter how calm and stable, definitely is one of the signs that you should marry him.
You have successfully tried live-in
While this is still not accepted in many cultures, living together before marriage can make you learn more about your partner. Not everything is sparkly and romantic all the time. When you live together with someone, you discover all the hidden, awkward, gross parts of their life and learn to make it work anyway.
Learning to manage your space properly as well as sharing the finances is an important step for any relationship, whether you marry or not. You should be prepared to put in hard work and stay even when you take off the rose-tinted glasses. If you and your partner have lived together for a while and are still going strong, it could be one of the many signs that you’re going to marry your boyfriend.
You readily accept each other the way you are
In the end, this is perhaps the most important thing of all. If your partner forces you to act a certain way, just for their acceptance, then it is a red flag and one of the signs that you should not marry him. You and your partner may come from different parts of the world, different ideas, different cultures, and backgrounds, but a relationship means loving each other because of these differences, not despite them.
Even as you change with the years, your understanding of each other only evolves in a healthy relationship. You see all the flaws and strengths and hold them both to your heart preciously. You take care of each other, in the happy times and the sad, but also accept if one of you needs time alone. With this point checked off, you have reached one of the healthiest stages of a relationship, and marriage or not, you will surely keep going ahead together.
So, Should You Marry Him?
Well, you probably shouldn’t pressure yourself to be sure so soon. Even if you love your partner very much, you are still allowed to take your time. Just recognizing signs that you should marry him may not always be enough to make you decide to marry him.
What is most important is that you take your time and tell your partner what you think. Though surprise proposals may seem romantic in theory, they tend to come after long periods of discussion, when the couple has agreed that marriage is in the cards for them somewhere soon.
So, if you are at the end of this page and still haven’t made up your mind, that is totally okay. Tread in the waters as slowly and carefully as you want, holding on tightly to your partner’s hand. If one day you decide to keep holding it forever with a shiny ring on both your fourth fingers, well then, that’ll be a beautiful memory too, after all.